I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
