is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
