i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Bring me that man meat
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
