There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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