I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
