He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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