hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
