who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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