I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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