I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Quick, to the slutcave!
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
