They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize