While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
