Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
