absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
third nipple confirmed
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
