You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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