i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
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