i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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