you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
