Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
