Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
