Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
