ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
