If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
he puts the penis in happiness.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
