That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
the liver wants what the liver wants
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
