You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
