Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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