You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
