the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
