i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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