i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
