i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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