is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
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