Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
