whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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