I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
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