We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
They took my balls.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
