how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
