Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
