I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
