i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
not ubering you a puppy
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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