She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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