Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
