Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
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