someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize