***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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