My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize