Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
