Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize