I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
