I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
