RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
try to milk me bitch
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
