singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
