id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
