Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
