I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
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You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
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Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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