She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
