Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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