My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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