i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
