Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
It was like getting head from an anaconda
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
ok first of all what the fuck
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
