i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
