I think my vagina is haunted
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
