This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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