I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
