he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
