Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Randomize
